Stuck Song Syndrome

Several years ago, I did some extensive field work, along with my research partner Josh Heady, on the phenomena of “earworming.” (when a song gets stuck in your head, AKA Stuck Song Syndrome) Our specific work centered around evicting the song Come Sail Away, by Styx, from our brains.

After performing extensive testing, our research uncovered several highly effective cures to Stuck Song Syndrome. Below are those cures:

CURE ONE: THE CRAZY TRAIN REBOOT
Though not tested in our research, a brain reboot might be in order. Grab a couple hours of sleep while playing Ozze Osborne’s Crazy Train on repeat. (headphone preferred)

CURE TWO: THE ALTIOD EVICTION
Eat an entire tin of Altoids while attempting to whistle the Andy Griffith Theme Song. The dry bitter taste of the Altoids combined with the challenge of whistling this tune will actually scramble your short term auditory memory. Your song will finally be evicted once you’re able to successfully complete Andy Griffith’s little diddy.

CURE THREE: THE RAGING INNER CHILD
To get that song unstuck, simply sing the song It’s a Small World with your best Elmo voice. This cure actually accesses the auditory cortex of the brain and engages the unconscious raging inner child. Your raging inner child is the brain’s best Repo-Man; reclaiming your brain-space once again.

CURE FOUR: THE REPLACEMENT
Maybe the best way to get the song out is to replace it. So, because I care about my readers, I have created a list of 13 fantastic earworm replacements from my personal iTunes collection. Each sampling has been edited down to it’s most annoyingly sticky parts to serve as an earworm eviction tool. (be sure to bookmark this page)

If you have discovered any other cures, please contribute to our continuing research by submitting your ideas.

	ALL STAR – by Smash Mouth Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	Andy Griffith - Soundtrack & Theme Orchestra Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	BRICK HOUSE – by The Commodores Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	COME SAIL AWAY – by Styx Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	EYE OF THE TIGER – by Survivor Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	GENIE IN A BOTTLE – by Christina Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	IT’S A SMALL WORLD – by Disney Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	MISSION IMPOSSIBLE – by Danny Elfman Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	MMMBOP – by Hanson Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	OOPS I DID IT AGAIN – by Britney Spears Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN – by The Bangles Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	Wannabe – by Spice Girls Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
	WE WILL ROCK YOU – by Queen Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.